It’s hard to watch this year’s women’s gymnastics team without missing my dream bff just a little. The way she evil-eyed those Chinese five-year olds made me feel like we could have an understanding. Like, I want to have a beer and talk some shit with this girl.
This girl trains with her and also kind of looks like her, and used the Hava Nagila as her floor exercise music, which is a decision I really appreciate, but there’s only room in my heart for one Alicia Sacramone.
I want to be friends with Alicia Sacramone. That’s what the Olympics has taught me, other than the fact that the Chinese are willing to descreate the sanctity of world unity in order to win gold medals. On a more positive note, she is exactly the kind of friend I want - tough, loyal, obviously hilarious (as evidenced by this picture and by the fact that she got PISSED on camera) smart, cute, and clearly confident. She’s actually a real person, unlike any of the Chinese gymnasts, and she weighs like twice as much as some of the girls she competed against, which I think is pretty raw. She worked twice as hard as those little half people, and she was pretty much the only one who knew it. I love her. Alicia, if you’re looking for friends for some reason, call me.